I deployed in Iraq for 13 months. While I was there a soldier in my unit shot himself with an M-16 and the 5.56mm round hit him in the quadrum of his heart and he died. I felt so much guilt because I was one of the soldiers that made fun of him and I blamed myself. I was very effected and hid my emotions inside.<br>After deployment my ex baby mama called me unexpectedly after 11 months of not talking to me and told me my 1year old son died and never even told me about the funeral. I became angry and my heart grew cold. I had nightmares from my deployment and my dead son and couldn't sleep so I started drinking as much beer, brown liquor and wine just to go to sleep. That night I became an alcoholic. I became reckless and violent. Emotionally I couldn't function so the relationships I was in always failed. I was married and ended up in a bad divorce. I didn't communicate with my family because I felt like they couldn't help me. I felt alone and was suicidal many times. I stabbed myself in my leg, tried cutting my chest, and my arm. I even became homeless and had to survive in the streets. I've been chased, shot at and fought many times. With all that being said, my life did a 360 change. God change my life completely. I have a home, a career, I sleep well and I'm free from alcohlism. I even received a 2nd chance in life and married again to my beautiful wife Jakerra and my step son Amari. I'm a published author of Blood on Paper/Poet and I use my story/poetry to change lives
